When I first found out I was pregnant, I had no idea what to expect. I remember feeling overwhelmed, scared, and nervous. I had heard so many stories about maternal health, especially for minorities, and after doing extensive research, I was afraid I would become part of those statistics. With that fear in the back of my mind, I spent much of my pregnancy questioning my body, even though all the known information pointed to a healthy pregnancy.

At 26 weeks, while visiting Columbia, SC, I started spotting and ended up in the hospital. Although the baby was fine, I learned I had begun dilating and was already at 2cm. The doctor told me to prepare for an early delivery. I was terrified—my husband wasn’t there, and I felt completely unprepared. I remember calling him, crying, and saying, “I’m not ready to have the baby… she’s not ready yet.”

They gave me a steroid shot to help mature the baby’s lungs, and I was monitored for 24 hours. Thankfully, nothing progressed. I trusted my body and my baby, and we both agreed—she wasn’t ready yet. I remained at 2cm for the remainder of my pregnancy, until 38 weeks.

Her due date was January 16th, but she had other plans. By the time I hit 39 weeks, my daughter decided it was time to make her arrival. I visited my midwife, who always supported and educated me on how my body knew what it was doing. She reassured me that my body was doing exactly what it was supposed to do.

I chose to labor at home, as I’d heard so many stories about people having bad experiences rushing to the hospital too soon. I began laboring around 7pm, and by 9pm, contractions were three minutes apart. We made our way to the hospital, and by the time we arrived, I was 6-7cm dilated. My baby was almost here! I wanted an epidural, but there was barely enough time. The only reason I was able to get it was that my blood work had already been done.

After about an hour, they broke my water, and at 3:45am, my beautiful baby girl was born—10 days earlier than expected. I labored for almost 9 hours, from 7pm to 3:45am.

Through this journey, I learned how important it is to advocate for yourself and trust your gut. If I hadn’t listened to myself and advocated for my needs when they wanted to deliver early, it could have negatively impacted both me and my baby. This experience made me realize the crucial role of doulas in providing support and ensuring that mothers' voices are heard. I now understand how vital it is to have someone by your side who can help you navigate these challenging moments.

I’ll always remember how important it is to trust your body and the process, no matter how much uncertainty you may feel.

After experiencing two miscarriages, my second pregnancy was filled with a mix of excitement and anxiety. Despite being a doula and knowing all the right things to tell myself, I couldn’t stop the intrusive thoughts. Shortly after my 32nd birthday, I found out I was pregnant. Although I was really excited, I was also extremely nervous. My entire pregnancy was as healthy as could be, but I still had moments of doubt.

Similar to my first pregnancy, I dilated early—this time at 3cm around 32 weeks—and remained there until 38 weeks. At 37 weeks and 5 days, my son decided it was time! It was a Saturday, and I started having contractions at 3pm. They continued despite doing all the things to ensure it wasn’t false labor. We called the sitter over at 5pm, and she said she could be there by 7pm. Shortly after she arrived, my water broke in the kitchen, and we knew it was time to head to the hospital.

Between my water breaking and getting in the car, 20 minutes had gone by, and it was the strangest thing—all my contractions had stopped. But as we started driving, they came back with a vengeance, every three minutes. I remember repeating to myself over and over, “My body is meant to birth,” an affirmation I told myself to prepare for this moment. With my husband holding my hand and talking me through, we arrived at the hospital.

While my husband parked, a nurse wheeled me up to labor and delivery. At three minutes apart, the pain felt unbearable. As we got to admissions, they hooked me up to the monitors, and a resident came in and asked if my water had broken. I confirmed it did, but he said he still needed to check prior to admitting me.

The resident did a cervical check and a test that was inconclusive. He also did an ultrasound and verbally said there was no fluid around my baby. My contractions were now two minutes apart. Despite being hooked up to monitors and clearly in labor, there were still so many questions about whether or not I was in labor. An hour had gone by before a nurse, who wasn’t supposed to be attending to me, stepped in to take me over to delivery. By the time I got over, the baby was coming.

I attempted to get an epidural as it was part of my birthing plan. I had done all the necessary testing beforehand to avoid any delays. As the anesthesiologist finished putting the needle in, I told them I felt the baby’s head. Sure enough, when they laid me back to check, he was on his way out. I gave two pushes, and he was born at 9:35pm.

For me, this was a traumatic experience not because my birth didn’t go as planned, but because of the care I received when I arrived. I didn’t feel heard or seen in that moment, which added to the stress and anxiety of the situation. This experience reinforced the importance of advocating for oneself and the critical role of doulas in ensuring that mothers' voices are heard and respected.

First Pregnancy:

With my first, I remember being so overwhelmed by the change. My emotions were high and low, I experienced baby blues, and I felt disconnected from my husband. I often thought he wasn’t doing things right, and I was afraid I wasn’t either. The lack of sleep only made things worse. I was also breastfeeding, and without family members who had breastfed, I felt alone and unsure if I was doing it right. It wasn’t until about six months postpartum that I learned about doulas. From there, I knew what I wanted and needed to do: prepare and support families through this wonderful but life-changing experience.

Second Pregnancy:

Since I didn’t have a postpartum doula the first time, I made sure I had one the second time. I had my village ready. I met with my therapist, who helped me prepare my postpartum plan, and then I had my doula there to support and reassure me when necessary. Having a doula made such a difference. It provided us with additional support with two children, and I felt more connected with my husband. It allowed me time to heal and gave me the reassurance I needed. It was one of those things where I didn’t want to doula myself. Having a postpartum doula made a significant difference in my experience, providing the support and reassurance I needed to navigate the postpartum period with confidence.